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Frozen Vulcan: Free At Last

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009 | Author:
Yay! Its Over!

Yay! It's Over!

Yes, this does feel like an obligatory post to mark the end of the NHL season. I’m sure I’m not the only who’s relieved that it’s over.

The Pittsburgh Penguins are the Stanley Cup champions, Sydney Crosby gets a Cup at only 21 years of age, Evgeny Malkin has one over Alexander Ovechkin and the Detroit Red Wings are left to wonder how they let one slip away. Pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it?

Really, that’s about as much enthusiasm as I’ve got for the NHL right now. As I’ve written before it’s not that I don’t love hockey or that the quality was bad, it’s that I don’t have any hunger left for the sport past mid-May. Hockey is one of my favourite sports and the quality of play in the 2009 playoffs were better than I can remember at any point in my life.

I think a big part of the problem for me is that the NHL in Canada has morphed into what the NFL has become in the U.S.; a 365 days a year media onslaught. You cannot watch a sportscast in Canada on any day of the year without a hockey story. Every little detail is parsed and beat to death on three dedicated sports networks.

Case in point? The Sydney Crosby handshake controversy. It wasn’t enough that the sport had just crowned a new champion, seen its poster boy lift the Cup, drawn the biggest television rating since 1973, had a dramatic ending to a 7-game series – no, the story of the day is that Sydney Crosby failed to shake hands with every member of the Red Wings.

Listen, I’ve been hard on the “Kid” in these parts, but here’s where he gets my sympathy. Overcome with joy and celebrating with teammates, not to mention being pulled every which way by mulitple media outlets simultaneously, Crosby got into the conga line a little late to shake the opposing team’s hand. He managed to get most of them, but Nicklas Lidstrom didn’t get a handshake. This is the main story of the night? Unbelievable.

So now it’s mid-June and the hockey calendar seamlessly flips over  to 2010. First we have the draft in a week or so, then free-agency July 1st (don’t worry, Sportsnet has you covered with a special NHL Free-Agency Show!). Interspersed throughout the month will be the obligatory stories of the Cup going moose hunting, golfing, going to some remote town, etc. The Ottawa talk radio guys will spend the summer evaluating the Heatley trade every single day until training camp. Phoenix will be a hot topic until the team is moved or sold. August will see the Canada Junior evaluation camp and possibly an Olympic tryout camp. Next thing you know it’s September with all the yawn excitement of pre-season, and countless news stories emanating from Toronto about how the Leafs are on the brink of winning the Cup.

It’s not hard to see why one would get hockey burnout every couple of years. And just think; because of Olympic participation in 2010, we’ll be having this conversation two weeks later next year. Hockey in July? Hell, why not. Might as well play some games if we’re going to talk about it year-round…

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The Twit: A Weekend To Satiate All Fans

Friday, June 12th, 2009 | Author:
LeMans highlights a plethora of sporting goodness this weekend

LeMans highlights a plethora of sporting goodness this weekend

There’s a bonanza of must-see-sports-tv this weekend. Let’s go down the list that got my attention.

Friday:

- Roy Halladay toys with the lowly Marlins. This one should be over by the end of the first period of the next item. (TSN, 7 pm)

- Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final. We can finally be done with it. This doesn’t mean I don’t love hockey (I do) or that the quality of play has been poor (it hasn’t), it’s just that it’s fucking June already. (CBC, NBC, 8 pm)

Saturday:

- 24 Hours of LeMans. Scroll down a couple posts for my thoughts on why this event is so special. (Coverage begins at 8am on Speed, goes until noon then comes back on at 4 pm until 10 pm, then coverage picks up again at Midnight until the checkered flag at 9:30 am Sunday).

- Casey Janssen continues his journey back to dominance with a start against the Marlins (1 pm, TSN)

- This is only for those in Ottawa, but Tyson: The Documentary is playing at the Bytowne at 2:45 pm, and I’ll be there with a group of friends

- The New York Mets take on the New York Yankees. One of the only series that makes interleague play palatable. Ken Rosenthal has a good column on the Mets manager and why he’s doomed to fail. (Fox, 4 pm)

Gotta love the Summer of Tallet

Gotta love the Summer of Tallet

Sunday:

- LeMans wraps up (Speed, all morning up to 9:30 am)

- The Summer of Tallet (as Tao of Stieb refers to it) continues, with the man himself taking on the Marlins (TSN, 1 pm)

- Kobe and the Lakers could finish the series against the Magic (TSN, 8 pm)

In Other News:

- Say it ain’t so: Pedro Drawing Interest (and it ain’t from Les Geais Bleus).

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The Twit: Leave of Absence

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009 | Author:

 

Thierry Henry: Deserving of the Cup

Thierry Henry: Deserving of the Cup

Last post before next week most likely, as I am attending to a family matter out of town. I will probably not have time to watch sports, let alone write about them. See you next week!

- Paging Doctor Halladay. Doctor Halladay to the operating room STAT!

- Looks like it will be a rematch of last year’s Stanley Cup final. If the Wings eliminate the Hawks tonight, do you think the NHL will get its ducks in order and move up the series, or will we go over a week without games?

- Is it cruel of me to wish for a Magic vs. Nuggets final in the NBA? 

- Champions League final this afternoon. I think I’m cheering for Barcelona. Yeah, I think so. Always been a fan of Thierry Henry’s, and I can’t stand Cristiano Ronaldo

- Pat Quinn is back in the NHL. At least he’s out West, where he can’t grate on my nerves too much.

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Frozen Vulcan: Montreal Media Strike Again

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 | Author:

I generally don’t touch on hockey too much around these parts because the last thing we need is another hockey blog from a half-wit Canadian. I watch hockey and follow the Senators rather closely, but I am by no means an expert.

Having said that, I think most who are outside the Montreal media’s direct range will probably agree with me that Guy Carbonneau had no business getting fired. Sure they’ve struggled a bit over the past couple months, but they’re still in great shape to make the playoffs and actually make a run for the cup because they are well coached.

Guy has a 124-83 coaching record (I’ve taken overtime losses out of the equation because most coaches will gladly take a point out of most games). Show me a team that would thumb its nose at that record and I’ll eat Taco Bell for a week. Oh wait, that record is not good enough for bloated Montreal media-types that sell papers and advertising revenue based on a culture that skewers coaches and management in an unending blood sport.

Television program likes “110%” and newspapers like “Le Journal de Montréal” would be out of business if they weren’t second-guessing Canadiens management every single day in the paper. I swear that if the Canadiens beat the Red Wings 4-2 in a Stanley Cup Final series, these buffoons would ask for the coach’s head on platter because the series was not wrapped up in five games. Such a result would be an affront to “Les Glorieux”, the mythical pre-cursor to the modern-day Canadiens reality, where the Montreal Canadiens had a monopoly on players originating from Quebec. Hint: it hasn’t been that way since the ’70′s and will never return. Today I guarantee you these parasites are cooking up the newest excuses to get rid of the replacement coach, Canadiens GM Bob Gainey. It’s a never-ending cycle in that city.

I don’t feel too bad for Carbonneau, though. If he chooses he’ll simply become the latest former Montreal Canadiens head coach to have success elsewhere, in the line of Scotty Bowman, Jacques Lemaire, Alain Vigneault and Claude Julien.

People asked me why I switched allegiances from the Habs to the Sens in the mid-90′s. Although there were plenty of factors, one of them was the unhealthy relationship that exists between the team, their fans and especially the media. Sure we have our issues in Ottawa with some media (*cough* Bruce Garrioch *cough*), but nothing even comes close to the toxic Montreal environment.

Note: I love the city of Montreal and its people, and Les Habitants still occupy a place in my heart, but I call it like I see it.

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Frozen Vulcan: Sens Opener: Running Diary

Wednesday, October 04th, 2006 | Author:

19:02: Night kicks off with a montage of kids, normal people and hockey players saying: “I want to win the Stanley Cup”, highlighted by an 86 year-old who says he’s been waiting his whole life to win the Stanley Cup – must be a Leafs fan.

19:06: Tough start to Tie Domi’s second career. He had 2 sentences, stumbling and bumbling his way through them. That’s what happens when you’ve never learned to read.

19:07: First mention of Hasek leaving the Sens in the offseason. Tears are shed by Sports Chickie. She loved him, calling him “My Playboy” for the way he flails about on the ice trying to stop the puck. I don’t know what that says about me.

19:08: First commercial of the new NHL season is a repeat from last year – Molson’s “What a Feeling.” Can’t expect an American company to go all out for hockey, I guess.

19:15: Live look-in on the Hurricanes Stanley Cup banner ceremony. Banner begins to go up.

19:17: I swear the banner is still rising to the rafters, with canned thunder sounds over top Queen’s “We are the Champions”. Can we just wipe out the 2005-06 season from the history books? Would anyone question this 20 years down the road? Can’t we tell our kids the lockout lasted 2 seasons? Please?

19:23: Pierre McGuire just downplayed how bad the Leafs will be this season. I think he’s scared of Domi.

19:27: Gord Miller, in a pre-taped studio appearance, tells us the game is available in HD and 5.1 surround “The way it was meant to be seen and heard”. Welcome to the 21st century, TSN.

19:30: THE SCOTTISH ARE INVADING!!!!! No, wait, my bad, it’s the 48th Highlanders, and their god-awful noise, ummm, I mean, bagpipes.

19:33: Must be embarassing for Tomas Kaberle to be carded every time the team goes out to strippers. Seriously, does he qualify to play, considering Canada’s strict child labour laws?

19:36: The ACC P.A. guy sounds like he should be narrating a Disney movie. “Little did Simba know, Nala was searching far and wide to find him. Much like your beloved Maple Leafs search for their Stanley Cup.”

19:44: Now moving on to part 2 of 2 in Leaf player commemorations (zzzzz). Estimated time of puck drop: 21:34. Is Fox Baseball producing this or something? Where’s Joe Buck? Seems like a waste of TSN’s 37 panelists.

19:54: Sports Chickie just called Marting Gerber “Baby Food”. Here we go.

19:54: Puck drops, it’s GAME TIME.

19:55: Kaberle a game time scratch, late for his curfew.

19:57: It just registered: Dean McAmmond is an Ottawa Senator. *shudder*

20:00: This looks fantastic in HD. Wow. Bob McKenzie? Not so wow in HD.

20:05: First penalty of the game, to the Leafs for interference. Ron MacLean whines to whoever has to suffer his presence tonight.

20:06: Third appearance of Molson’s “What a Feeling” commercial. Another example of a good commercial wasted through saturation.

20:16: Dave Randorf Career Arc:

2000: Anchor for Sydney Olympics
2001-2005: CFL play-by-play
2006: TSN Hockey sideline reporter
2007: TSN Poker Tour analyst
2008-2011: Guy who shines Pierre McGuire’s dome

20:22: TSN goes with a Bruce Mr. Turk favourite, bar-across-the-top ticker. Bruce Mr. Turk will be happy.

20:27: With 3:47 left in the 1st period, we get our first “Go Leafs Go” chant. Yeah, the Leafs fans are soooo stoked for this season.

20:31: 1-0 Ottawa. Exhale. Let it be known that one Patrick Eaves scored the first goal of the Senators’ Stanley Cup winning season (ahem, ahem…).

20:35: Make sure you check out James Duthie’s hilarious blog about his yoga vacation. Thanks to Bruce Mr. Turk for the heads up.

20:53: ACC customers haven’t changed one bit: we’re 2 minutes into the second period and all the seats behind the players’ benches are EMPTY. No wonder the building seems empty – it is. All its patrons are on the concourse swinging business deals or attending to more important matters.

21:02: It’s not the regular-season domination of old, but at the halfway point I give the Sens a slight edge. Patrick Eaves looking real good – the TSN crew seem flat-out giddy about him.

21:07: Chris Neil off to as good a start as last season. 2-0 Ottawa!

21:11: No sooner have I called the Sens out do they go up by 3. Same old, same old.

21:13: Charity penalty shot call for Sundin…and…

21:14: …controversy as the referee says no goal before the puck squeaks into the Sens net. Ref goes upstairs and reverses his call. Leafs will not be shut out this season.

21:27: In the “giveaway” sweepstakes this evening, McCabe leads Spezza 2-0. As bad as he is defensively, he’ll end up a Norris Trophy candidate because of his points tally. What a disgrace.

21:30: After two periods, I have to say I’m enjoying the “Baby Food” Gerber era in Ottawa. He seems technically sound and he’s made some key saves tonight. Maybe it won’t be so hard for Sports Chickie to forget about her “playboy”.

21:34: I don’t know how I feel about this new NHL promotion campaign, the ones who’s tagline is “…here to remind us the season has started”. Yikes, I can’t help but feel this if for fans in the U.S. who have no idea the season is getting underway because OLN has the games and the other networks have abandoned doing hockey highlights. You shouldn’t have to remind us the season is here. It’s started at the same time since the turn of the century – the 20th century! The Forsberg one was funnier than the Cheechoo one. Hopefully they’ll post them on Youtube soon.

21:57: Ok, I am so going to regret saying this, but here goes: Tie Domi is already a decent analyst. His willingness to rule against the Leafs on a couple of issues was impressive. I’ll reserve a final judgement, but so far it’s not as bad as I thought. Shoot me now.

22:00 For some odd reason, everytime Michael Peca touches the puck, the Sports Chickie says “Peca, the taco monkey!”.

22:10: When Bates Battaglia is out on your #1 powerplay unit, you’ve got a problem. The Toronto implosion is going to be so much fun to watch.

22:13: This definitely does not feel like the Battle of Ontario. There seems to be little animosity between the teams and the Sens, despite being ahead, seem almost lackadaisical.

22:25: Nail in the coffin: Alfredsson empty-net goal. Same old story in the Battle of Ontario (regular-season edition). Thank you and good night!

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Frozen Vulcan: NHL Predictions, 2006-07

Tuesday, October 03rd, 2006 | Author:

On the eve of opening night I offer you my picks for the upcoming NHL season. Keep in mind that I am absolutely terrible at prognostication, just like most pundits. Without further ado, here we go:

Eastern Conference:

Northeast Division:

1. Buffalo
2. Ottawa
3. Montréal
4. Toronto
5. Boston

I think it will be a battle to the death for second place in this division, with Montreal losing out on some sort of tie-breaker. Toronto will be just as awful as last year, but take solace Leafs fans: you could be the Bruins.

Atlantic Division:

1. New York Rangers
2. New Jersey Devils
3. Pittsburgh Penguins
4. Philadelphia Flyers
5. New York Islanders

Divisional matchups will be of the utmost importance here. Somehow, I think the Penguins will own the Flyers head-to-head this year, and Sydney Crosby will be stellar. He won’t win the Art Ross, mind you. In November, the Islanders will fire head coach Ted Nolan and replace him with Dave Allison.

Southeast Division:

1. Tampa Bay Lightning
2. Carolina Hurricanes
3. Atlanta Thrashers
4. Washington Capitals
5. Florida Panthers

Tampa gets back on top after being humbled last year. Carolina will come down a few levels, and Florida will be just awful and in December, Ed Belfour will offer Jacques Martin “one billion dollars” for more playing time.

Playoffs:

1. Buffalo Sabres
2. Tampa Bay Lightning
3. New York Rangers
4. Ottawa Senators
5. Montréal Canadiens
6. Carolina Hurricanes
7. New Jersey Devils
8. Pittsburgh Penguins

Conference Quarter-final:

Buffalo over Pittsburgh
New Jersey over Tampa Bay
Rangers over Hurricanes
Ottawa over Montréal

Conference Semi-final:

Buffalo over New Jersey
Ottawa over Rangers

Conference Final:

Buffalo over Ottawa

Western Conference:

Central Division:

1. Detroit Red Wings

2. Columbus Blue Jackets

3. Nashville Predators

4. Chicago Blackhawks

5. St. Louis Blues

Detroit dominates the conference in the regular season with Hasek playing with a chip on his shoulder. Columbus catches plenty of teams sleeping this year thinking “same old Blue Jackets, time for a night off”, enough so to make the playoffs.

Northwest Division:

1. Calgary Flames

2. Edmonton Oilers

3. Vancouver Canucks

4. Minnesota Wild

5. Colorado Avalanche

It’s always stuck me that they’ve bunched all three Western Canadian teams into one division (much like in the East). For rivalry’s sake, or to eliminate as many from the playoffs as possible? Hmmmm…

Pacific Division:

1. Anaheim Ducks

2. San Jose Sharks

3. Phoenix Coyotes

4. Dallas Stars

5. Los Angeles Kings

The Kings remain in the cellar. Gretzky squeezes every bit of talent out of his dogs and makes the playoffs, while Anaheim and San Jose are at each other’s throats all season. In mid-season, Mrs. Pronger demands a trade because Mr. Pronger has impregnated yet another local. He promptly turns around and says: “We’ve run out of cities, sweetie.”

Playoffs:

1. Calgary Flames

2. Detroit Red Wings

3. Anaheim Ducks

4. Edmonton Oilers

5. San Jose Sharks

6. Phoenix Coyotes

7. Columbus Blue Jackets

8. Vancouver Canucks

Conference Quarter-final:

Calgary over Vancouver

Columbus over Detroit

Phoenix over Anaheim

San Jose over Edmonton

Conference Semi-Final:

Calgary over Columbus

San Jose over Phoenix

Conference Final:

San Jose over Calgary

Stanley Cup Final:

Buffalo over San Jose

Now head to Las Vegas and bet your mortgage on it.

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