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The Pimple, Week 6

Tuesday, October 17th, 2006 | Author:

Yes, I went to bed. After having resisted the urge to turn to my XBox 360 at halftime (20-0 Cardinals), and finally giving in to the Sandman after Rex Grossman’s 4th pick late in the 4th quarter (23-10 Cardinals), I went to bed. I wake up this morning and go about my usual routine, turning on my XM radio as I leave my apartment and head to the bus stop. I tune in to XM Sports Nation 143, and hear this:

“Did you go to bed last night? Did you figure the Bears were done? That the undefeated season was toast? If you did, let me be the one to set you straight: Without scoring one offensive touchdown, the Bears rallied from 20-0 down at halftime to beat the hapless Arizona Cardinals 24-23.”

And my jaw dropped.

For 3 and a half quarters, the Bears looked nowhere near able to win this game. Matt Leinart was handling himself like the winner he is, and Rex Grossman looked like Neil O’Donnell. Just brutal. Turns out they should have just trotted the defence out on the field every time they had the ball. The Bears became the first team in the 80+ year history of the NFL to come back from a 20 point deficit without scoring an offensive touchdown. That will teach me to stay up and watch the damn game!

A few things from the game did stand out for me. First and foremost, the game story was Matt Leinart. While he needs to work at being effective for four quarters, he is showing every sign of a wonderful career in the NFL. In fact, I can’t recall a QB getting off to such a great start. I’m too young to remember Marino’s first games, and Peyton Manning was shackled by a terrible team. The closest comparison I can think of without digging into stats and such is Tom Brady. There is a poise there that only the best possess, and Leinart definitely has it. I’m looking forward to watching this story progress. Now if only the Cards had a running game…

I love having players miked during sporting events, even if in most cases we never get any kind of insight. It’s usually a collection of whoops and grunts, and some “Way to go guys, keep it up, this is our house” stuff. On top of that I’m always a little skeptical regarding the earnestness of such an exercise, since the player knows he’s miked up, we’re hearing is what he wants us to hear. What I really yearn for is a time in the future where there is a special “R” rated channel for certain sporting events, where microphones pick the real banter between players, coaches, referees and hecklers – quality family viewing that would be. Anyway, all this to say that I saw and heard something last night that made me re-think the low amount of respect I have for Kurt Warner. My former disdain for Kurt stemmed in large part from his crazy “Cruella De Vil” wife, and his attributing all his success to his Faith. I can’t stand athletes who Jesus this and Jesus that.

Last night though, I saw Kurt Warner through the prism of ESPN’s “Miked Up”. What I saw was a benched Kurt Warner revelling in every Matt Leinart success, a benched Kurt Warner who was doing everything possible to help Matt Leinart be the best he could be. He seemed almost intoxicated by the moment, as if he was reliving his own early successes. When I contrast that to a certain #4 in Green Bay who flat-out refused to take Aaron Rodgers under his wing and show him the ropes, it gives pause for reflection. My view of Favre was dented by that petulant move just as much as I admired Warner for being so self-effacing.

For most of the second quarter last night, we had a 4-man booth. Charles Barkley was this week’s celebrity guest on MNF, and he was the best so far. I love Chuck even though I can’t stand basketball. However, is a 4-man booth really necessary? Bruce Mr. Turk disagrees vehemently with me on this, but I don’t even like the 3-man booth. In fact, my favourite commentary is for soccer when there is only one man in the booth. Television never adapted when sports went from radio to TV. In radio, the play-by-play man had to describe everything that was happening, for obvious reasons. In radio, dead air is poison. In television, do we really need to fill up every moment with someone yacking? Does the play-by-play man really need to be telling me what I can see for myself? Just shut up already: when you have something insightful to say, then be my guest. And here I go with my desire for that “R” rated channel with only the sounds of the game to keep enlightened.

One positive improvement on the broadcasting side that I’ve noticed the past couple of weeks: it seems the networks have figured out how to use make-up in the HD era. Either they’ve figured it out or they’ve decided that because of the picture quality they don’t need any makeup. I wish someone knew the answer to this. It was quite evident last night that Tirico, Theismann and Kornheiser had little or no makeup. Hurray for that. And is it just me or does TSN’s Jennifer Hedger look better in HD? Too bad HD doesn’t fix her voice.

One of the greatest things, no, THE greatest thing happening in sports right now is the Saints in New Orleans. What we are witnessing is sports at its best. From Drew Brees‘ decision to sign with the team, to opening night at the Superdome, to the last-minute FG in what will go down as the game of the year this past week: this is why we watch. Peter King describes the scenes in New Orleans much better than I ever could.

Depending on your point of view, there were some other feel-good stories in the NFL this weekend. People are rejoicing in Tennessee, Tampa and Detroit as their teams are now on a level playing field with Miami (sometimes you have to look REAL hard for the silver lining). For me, it means I lose in Dr Z. survivor pool, where you had to pick the last team to either be undefeated or winless (I had chosen the Titans). The Raiders, Colts and Bears are the only remaining options, and I won’t embarrass myself by selecting one. Let’s just leave it at that. Along the same lines, I’m hesitating to get on the Saints bandwagon, for fear of jinxing them – I’ll just admire from a safe distance.

As undeserving of praise as Steve McNair was going into last weekend’s game, it’s not fair to pine for Kyle Boller following his exit due to injury. Boller had three seasons in which to stake his claim to the starting job in Raven-land, and he failed to do it. This whole situation speaks to sports fans’ fickle attention-span, misplaced loyalties and failed collective memories. It’s not just sports fans, either. Change for change’s sake appears to be this generation’s opium, as can be witnessed by the eagerness to go with the backup in every aspect of our society; from the Liberal leadership race to the Senators’ goaltending situation to “new and improved” products, people always seem to be in a hurry to try the alternative. How else do you explain the current party in power in Ottawa? Get better, Steve McNair, and let’s keep the clipboard firmly in Kyle Boller’s hands.

From one current QB controversy to one from the past: Isn’t it nice to see both Drew Brees and Phillip Rivers excel? Here are two guys that handled their head-to-head battle in stride, with class, and both are reaping the rewards. On the flip side of that, it wounds my soul when T.O. has success such as he did Sunday. Watching him celebrate, arms outstretched and looking to the heavens, as if he is some sort of apparition, some sort of saviour, turns my stomach.

Things to look for this week:

  • Rae Carruth signing with the Bengals, to “Get His” against the Panthers
  • Chuckie eating some bird
  • LJ vs. LDT
  • The former Cleveland Browns defence vs. the current Cleveland Browns offence
  • Leinart continuing his ascent to superstardom in the Black Hole (of Raider Wins)
  • Clinton Portis

Enjoy!

The Pimple

Tuesday, September 12th, 2006 | Author:

I’m going to try a new feature this year, and that’s The Pimple, which will be a MMQB of sorts. Why The Pimple? Skiing Penguins are native to Northern Ontario, more specifically north of Kapuskasing and Moonbeam. The most famous (and only) ski hill in the region has “The Pimple” as a nickname, because of its shape. So there you go.

DISCLAIMER: I was working this weekend and only got to watch the Sunday Night game. That’s why most of my focus will feature that contest, and more specifically NBC’s new broadcast, report card included.

I can’t start this column off any other way than to talk about the Thursday Night game, Defending Champions v. My Beloved Dolphins. I must admit that I bought into the Daunte hype. Silly old me, but how could I not? Since Marino (may Allah make his soul eternal) retired, we’ve had this wonderful lineup of QB’s; Damon Huard, Jay Fiedler, AJ Feeley, Brian Griese, Ray Lucas, Gus Frerotte and Sage Rosenfels.Therefore, I only half-apologize for getting excited about Daunte Culpepper. Not that I’m writing him off or anything, but based on his performance, gifting the game to the Steelers, it looks like 2005 Daunte as opposed to 2003 Daunte.

Ze Red Barons owner joined me for the game, and since he has Daunte as his QB we were both quite grumpy by the end of the game. The Real Chazz Batch even showed up for a while, and it looked certain that the Dolphins would take full advantage, but alas, it wasn’t enough. Back to the drawing board.

So I was working yesterday, during my lunch break (1:30 to 2:30) I decided to go the only sports bar on Sparks Street (I work downtown), Hoops. I walk in, look at all the TV’s, and it’s on TBS. I don’t need to point out to you hardcore NFL’ers that TBS does not show football. So I walk over to the bartender, and ask the barmaid “Excuse me, are you showing any of the football?”. Her reply: “Oh, right, I haven’t even checked what’s on.” I stood there for a few minutes thinking “ok, anytime now she’ll switch it over”. I then promptly walked out. Lesson: There really aren’t any sports bars on Sparks Street.

I therefore had to wait until I got home to watch some pigskin fly through the air. Fortunately, the 4pm game between the Cowboys and Jaguars was a doozie! I underestimated the entertainment value of cheering for Drew Bledsoe to be Drew Bledsoe, and watch the ticking time bomb that is Your 2006 Dallas Cowboys. How many more bad throws to #81 will it take for it to explode? That made for some compelling viewing. You can see the cracks being exposed slowly. There was a point in the game where Dallas went 3 and out, and Terrell was yapping on the sidelines, while Drew was trying to study those black and white photos of the defensive alignments. T.O. must have said something to Drew, because if you were looking for it, and I was, there was a flash of something that momentarily came into Bledsoe’s eyes, and he replied without looking at T.O. We like ill will. Bring more ill will. Sidenot to Fox Sports: The Fox Bots have NEVER been cool. And now that you’ve got an acutal guy in a robot suit dancing around, it’s CREEPY. Enough with the robots.

The Sunday Night game did not disappoint, but before I get into that let me spend a little time talking about Football Night in America, the new highlights show on NBC, and the production qualities of the actual game. First off, let me say that I was quite upset when it was announced that the NFL had given its Sunday Night highlights package exclusively to NBC. That brought an end to a legendary broadcast that we all grew up with – ESPN’s NFL PRIME TIME. Chris Berman and Tom Jackson worked perfectly as a team, and it was sad to say goodbye. It was upsetting because it was a pure financial decision by the NFL, not based on the show’s quality.

Having said that, I kept hearing about how good HBO’s football show was, and that show’s crew would be doing the Sunday night thing. That piqued my interest. So how was it? Football Night in America works for me. Works very well. I’ve always loved Bob Costas and Chris Collinsworth. Jerome Bettis comes off as well as an analyst as he did as a football personality, unlike Shannon Sharpe of CBS. Sterling Sharpe, who’s firing on NFL Gameday a decade ago I never understood, is good as well. He’s the antagonist on the panel, but he does way better than Michael Irvin, Terry Bradshaw or his brother Shannon.

The set looked gorgeous. Much better than ESPN’s flying saucer setup. I don’t get the current set on ESPN, it’s terrible. NBC’s set is classy, understated, perfect for a Sunday night. It’s feels like football zen after a day of testosterone and over the top announcers and analysts. My only complaint is that it took 18 minutes to get into highlights, and Costas looked like a Liliputian in those oversized chairs. Nice to see they’re giving midgets some important jobs in television. We could always use more midgets on TV (sorry Bob).

As for the game broadcast, I was disappointed. Not in the clarity of the HD, which was beautiful, but the presentation. Where are the stats? Hasn’t CBS laid down the blueprint of what football fans expect in terms of stats? They kept showing Manning stats all night. Well guess what, we want to know how the other players are doing as well! Same producer as MNF, Fred Gaudelli, and I guess he doesn’t like stats.

Opening music: YUK! Bill Simmons spearheaded the argument against using 20-30 year old songs in opening sequences, and no one is listening. Pink doing “I Hate Myself for Loving You” is a terrible decision. I guess they were hoping for a long standing hit like Hank Williams’ “Are you Ready?”, but come on…Joan Jett? Hopefully we don’t get 10 years of this song, or I’ll have to slit my wrists.

Al Michaels is losing some of his appeal, in my book. I used to love Al Michaels. I grew up watching Al Michaels with Frank Gifford and Dan Dierdorf in the MNF booth. But I’m officially losing my affection for Al. He’s pretty much given up on telling the game story, describing what’s going on. He’ll do the play-by-play, but he always seems so eager to break away from the action on the field to wax poetic about the topics of the day not related the present game. That used to be charming in late blowouts, where the action on the field has become irrelevant, but now he does it all the time. I wish he’d tell me about the players on the field, the strategy, the backups, the stats.

Madden is a lot better with Michaels than he was with Pat Summerall. It’s like he woke up (who can blame him – I’d fall asleep to listening to Pat Summerall for 10 years). He says insightful things at times, and he’s not too over the top as he once was.

Pre-game – Football Night in America:

Host (Bob Costas): A
Panel (Bettis, Sharpe, Collinsworth): A
Set: A- (would have gotten an A+++ if not for the oversized chair)
Content: B

Sunday Night Football:

Presentation: F (for Pink and that song and no stats!!)

Play by Play (Al Michaels): C

Colour Commentator (John Madden): B-

Picture quality and direction: A- (looks beautiful, and brought us some very good images from the game…I won’t give an A+ until they give us more live sky cam – that’s the way the game is meant to be seen)

Overall: B+

Room for improvement, but the pre-game and halftime stuff were outstanding.

As for the game itself, Vinatieri f’cked me over with his 49 yard FG. I would have won my pro line Props if it hadn’t been for that. I thought he had a bum planting foot?!? Oh well. This was an entertaining game, but I’d like to ask an open question to Corporate America: Who decided Peyton and Eli are marketable? Aren’t they two of the most despised football players right now? Don’t most people find them annoying? There is definitely something unlikeable about both of them, but apparently this does not matter since every second commercial last night featured one or both of the Mannings. Tell me this isn’t what I have to watch for four months?

Who I’ve got tonight: Tomlinson running wild over the Raiders D, and Washington clobbering Minnesota.