The Pimple: Brett Favre, Man-Child of a Generation

Posted by Ottawa Sports Guy5 CommentsAug 19, 2009
The Buffoon

The Buffoon-In-Chief

Welcome to 2009’s first edition of The Pimple, my literary foray into the world of the National Football League. The 2009 season already has a number of riveting sub-plots, but the cast of characters is strikingly similar to past years:

Brett Favre:

For one we have The Buffoon deciding that after all, he’s not done harassing those like myself that appreciate people who can make a decsision and stick to it (within reason, of course). The Brett is a Viking now, and wants us to believe the choice of team has nothing to do with the stick in his ass he insists was placed there by Packer GM Ted Thompson (apparently Favre thought it was ok to go months into the offseason without telling the GM of your team whether or not you’re coming back, and felt spurned when the Packers moved on after repeated offseasons of this melodrama. This was but a preview of what was to become a full-blown tradition).

No, apparently there is no ill will to be deciphered from the fact that he’s just signed with the Packers hated rival, the team the Packers insisted he could not be traded to last year because it was deemed too much of a threat (turns out a leaky defence was a greater threat, but I digress).

I have nothing against once-great players sticking around past their prime. If you love the game that much, and don’t care what level you’re playing, all the power to you. For example, I totally respect Rickey Henderson’s decision to play into his forties for a bevy of minor-league teams. What bothers me is being dicked around by a half-wit man-child who can’t decide whether he’s coming or going, despite insisting at every plot turn that this time “It’s for good”. It’s the boy who cried wolf in a media obsessed environment.

Is there anyone out there not wearing purple still cheering for Brett Favre? This man – not through murder, dog fighting, domestic abuse, drug abuse (ok maybe a little Vicodin) or DUI, but through indecision – has gone from universally lauded legend to a villain we just can’t shake. The worst part of him coming back is knowing he’ll leave again. And then, who knows?

Michael Vick:

I’m no fan of Donovan McNabb, but I’ve got to admit he’s a brave, brave man in lobbying to bring Michael Vick into the Eagle’s fold. The Eagles are one of those teams that I love to hate (heck, any Philadelphia team is fun to hate!), and the signing of such a villain as Michael Vick is like an early Christmas present. As with any signing of this nature, I don’t expect Vick to get too much of a hard ride in Philly. Eagles fans will turn out to be just as morally fickle as Giants fans (Bonds), Chargers fans (Merriman), and Senators fans (Yashin). If he makes the team better, the fans will embrace him, whether they believe a Canine Holocaust is good or evil.

Eli Manning:

Eli Manning is now the  highest-paid player in football. Give yourself a second to pause and think about that. You can stop shaking your head now. You think David Tyree, the 6th string receiver who pulled in the miracle “Velcro” catch that kept the Giants in the Super Bowl (and thus enabling this ridiculous contract) will get a cut of that? Yeah, life is a cruel mistress at times.

There is no lack of interesting storylines to follow this year, and there are many more that I will outline in the coming days, but that’s all I’ve to for today.

5 Responses to "The Pimple: Brett Favre, Man-Child of a Generation"

  1. Steph D says:

    Actually, there’s something even worse behind the Favre soap opera.

    The announcement didn’t come after a long string of indecision. Oh no. He and the Vikings had this all wrapped up in the early summer months, when he opted to go for surgery. The “worse” part is that Favre, and by association the Vikings, take NFL fans for total idiots for thinking they won’t see through the charade.

    The only reason they delayed the announcement was to exempt the Vikings from having to defend why they were willing to allow The Brett a free pass from attending training camp. Period. So instead, they strung along thousands of fans, and worse, Sage Rosenfeld and Tavaris Jackson, into thinking Favre wasn’t part of the plan.

    As a Packers fan, I’ve totally lost all respect for The Brett. His year with the Jets was forgettable. Signing with the Vikings? Unforgivable.

    On the plus side, our biggest rivals in the NFC North just committed to a 40 year old, mistake-prone locker room distraction coming off surgery on his throwing arm. Who also has never played with any of his receivers, and has missed training camp, so no chemistry with them whatsoever.

    Bring on the Viqueens.

  2. moonturko says:

    To me he’s a coward for being such a yo-yo with his retirement. The fact he signed on with the Vikings doesn’t bother me, you see that kind stuff a lot in sports. But it’s the whole I’m retired for good, wait no I’m not, ugh yeah I am to I’m back. He’s an attention whore and has ruined his legacy from that.

    Eli is a joke!

    I have no issues with Vick. He’s a moron to have done what he did but he served his time. That’s more that can be said for many other athletes in trouble. Should of hired Stallworth’s lawyers, he kills a man driving drunk and get two years of house arrest??? oohhhh the horor! Tough times for him!

  3. Daddio says:

    Ya, I am so tired of hearing about this idiot. Retire or don’t, just decide please and carry on. Hopefully someone will prove him right in his assertion that his body had taken enough sacks.

    I also have no beef with Vick getting back in. He did something stupid, but no one died right? Unlike Stallworth as Moonturko mentioned. Maybe Buress should of had the same lawyer also. Dam the guy accidently shot himself and he’s going to jail for two years! Good job their dude.

    As for Eli, well wow. All I can say is he is so going on my trade block! LOL

  4. Mimglow says:

    Perhaps I have not explained my position properly regarding Vick. I believe he’s done his time and has the RIGHT to play in the NFL, I just don’t believe he should be given a free pass from fans.

    He deserves every heckle and boo he gets on his travels, that’s what I was trying to say.

    – Ottawa Sports Guy

  5. Daddio says:

    Oh yes, I’m with you on that too.

    I just didn’t get why some people had an issue with having him play. I don’t agree with his decisions to do what he did from day 1 to leading up up to the trial when he finally came clean. So I have no beef with him as a player I guess. Hopefully, he comes out a better person and maybe even a better teamate.

    But it’s just a matter of time before we hear “Who Let the Dog’s Out?” play somewhere right? LOL It will be well deserved I think.